lamow

american eagle sells a shirt that says 'dare to be different'. if you don't beleive me, here's a picture.



fucking LOL.
not that i really have anything huge against american eagle, other than all the idiots that shop there. but i do happen to also be the biggest hypocrite ever, and was voluntarily looking through their website after all. now that i've typed this shit out, i realize that this isn't that funny actually and not even worth all that html. is that even html? that's a serious question, i am that illiterate with computers.

today was good until i got home and became kind of enraged because someone ate all the mushrooms i'd hidden in the back of the fridge. i had been planning on making an omlette for days. DAYS. why i didn't make it when the idea first came into my asian little head, i can't really tell you. i was excited too because i've literally just mastered the art of flipping flat shit with the thing recently. but the absence of mushrooms makes an omlette pretty fucking useless.

i wasn't looking forward to washing the frying pan anyway. but even that doesn't stop the tears.

STORY OF MY LIFE

the only time a real life human being with a penis ever tried to start a conversation with me that wasn't homework related i forgot my own name. it went exactly like this

q. what's your name?
a. i don't know.

if that isn't pure tragedy...

why is hbo so fucking awesome?

i love that my life consists of nothing except work, late night tv, eating a bunch, trashy magazines, and living paycheck to paycheck. you should try it sometime!

this happened JUST NOW (i swear i wasn't joking when i said insomnia runs in this family)

me, on the topic of the possibility of me ever kissing girls: probably not
brother: what about gwen stefani? because i guess i talk about her a little too much. but just a little
me: ummmm insert shifty eyes
brother: what about that girl off playboy he means hugh hefner's "main" girlfriend holly, who again, i guess i talk about a little too much
me: ummmm

and just to add some heterosexuality into this entry, there is a guy from my work who reminds me of gerald the one eyebrowed baby. the thing is he doesn't even have one eyebrow. believe me, there is a definite divide of hairless space that separates the two eyebrows. and i am certain that he is also not a baby. even more frightening is the fact that i probably wouldn't mind making a few babies with this guy. but i won't.
i don't really know where i was going with this post.

running out of ideas here

typical day

11:00am - i wake up and stuff
11:05am - i am still in bed at this point
11:06am - i actually physically get up out of my bed and eat: banana bread and special k
11:20am - make myself look presentable
11:45am - get a ride [i'm a terrible person] to work
11:59am - start work
sometime between 12:00 and 4:00pm - i forget to give a lady change, chase her down and give her $12 because i'm fucking stupid
4:05pm - eat a muffin [cranberry]
4:15pm - eat some fake chinese food
4:30pm - change out of work clothes, etc.
5:10pm - arrive at le home de bisgaard
5:30pm - eat/drink a coconut for the first time EVER! i thought out loud "this tastes nutty"
6:00pm - eat some more
6:00pm --> 11:00pm - nothing really specific
11:15pm - shower
1:46am - i am still on the internet

goodnight. i should point out that these times are not accurate at all. but that doesn't really matter. pretty much the only peice of information that can be derived from this is that i eat a lot.