too cheap to buy drugs

the feeling of being done with science is sublime. i love not having to drag home fucking like, 5 textbooks. especially Inquiry Into Life. god. words cannot describe just how flawed that text was. when they were revealed on that first day of classes, i was excited. they were shiny and new and untouched by the disgusting hands of past students. i couldn't wait to feel the crisp new pages and vandalize it in a tasteful manner. of course, these feelings were soon replaced by that of loathing. while aesthetically pleasing, this book was gramatically incorrect, fucking HEAVY (despite it's deceptively thin appearance) and dangerous: i got like 5 paper cuts every time i turned a page, which was often due to how poorly organized it was. i would have to go back and forth between like 7 chapters just to get the definition of dehydration synthesis or something equally pointless. it was like getting out of an abusive marriage the day i gave back my science texts.

satan lived in my locker for a week and a half.

would i fucking lie?

dumb reasons why i've fallen in love* with people:

-he was good at physics
-he had really funny facial expressions
-i could tell what soap he used just by smelling him (it was Dial Mountain Fresh or Spring Fresh or something Fresh, daaaamn)
-we had a bunch of favourite tv shows in common. Curb Your Enthusiasm was the huge one.
-he said hi to me
-he HATED me. and didn't react when i threw a dictionary at him.
-he had a hot voice
-he looked like a blend of thurston moore, luke skywalker, and beck. beleive me it looks better than it sounds
-he bore an almost frightening resemblance to jesus
-i was impressed by his debating skillzzz
-i bumped into him at the library a bunch of times. the fucking library!

just because any person does these things doesn't mean i'll let them exchange bodily fluids with me, these are simply the things that i noticed about people who were pretty cool anyway, or really hot.

*wanted to get in their pants

i'm fucked.

i don't even know what calculus is.