why i love kathleen mellon* and other stories
"how dare you talk to me like that?" said the ogre, who appeared to have fetal alcohol syndrome (long story short, i couldn't control my big fucking mouth at school again. but it only happens when i'm provoked. which i was)
"what are you going to do about it?" i replied (a totally lame reply but you must take note of the fact that this guy doesn't understand big words)
"don't forget to put that slurpee down before you hit us" none other than the coolest lady i know, katy mothertruckinmellon
and the big mean ogre walked away
on a completely different note, this morning i found a bag of prunes in my kitchen. it brought back a wave of childhood memories. i was one of those kids who never ate anything. i swear, before the age of 10 i think i was all photosynthesis and i remember my mother being ecstatic when i went from 20 to 30 lbs. yes, there was a point in my life when i only weighed 20 lbs! ridiculous. and for a while my dad went crazy for prunes. it was so sudden, one day he literally just walked in with a box full of prunes and we had to eat them all. i tried every single fucking trick to try and not eat them. it wasn't that they were actually gross, i just hated being told to eat all the time. of course because god is a fucking jerk, none of my tricks ever worked and i'd always end up eating the little bitches. and when i saw that little bag staring back at me today i got the chills.
*okay, just one of infinite reasons, i don't think blogger could handle it if i listed them all
"what are you going to do about it?" i replied (a totally lame reply but you must take note of the fact that this guy doesn't understand big words)
"don't forget to put that slurpee down before you hit us" none other than the coolest lady i know, katy mothertruckinmellon
and the big mean ogre walked away
on a completely different note, this morning i found a bag of prunes in my kitchen. it brought back a wave of childhood memories. i was one of those kids who never ate anything. i swear, before the age of 10 i think i was all photosynthesis and i remember my mother being ecstatic when i went from 20 to 30 lbs. yes, there was a point in my life when i only weighed 20 lbs! ridiculous. and for a while my dad went crazy for prunes. it was so sudden, one day he literally just walked in with a box full of prunes and we had to eat them all. i tried every single fucking trick to try and not eat them. it wasn't that they were actually gross, i just hated being told to eat all the time. of course because god is a fucking jerk, none of my tricks ever worked and i'd always end up eating the little bitches. and when i saw that little bag staring back at me today i got the chills.
*okay, just one of infinite reasons, i don't think blogger could handle it if i listed them all
posted by erin at 6:41 PM
7 Comments:
oh erin! i would have your babies.
my favourite part:
ogre "who the hell are you anyway?"
me "she's erin fucking kim!"
if i ever put together an elite team to fight evil (ie. bus stop trash and other std carrying sheep), you will totally be on it.
"i was all photosynthesis" was the funniest part.
whoa... hold on, what happened with the bus stop trash?
did you take a wash yourself in bleach after the encounter? it's a MUST!!
-the "who the hell are you" comment really pissed me the fuck off. that guy was in no position to be asking such a question. noone at that school is.
(except us)
-i functioned off like, two saltine crackers per day
-you know frankie the funny thing is they (there were actually two of them. of course it goes without saying that katy the greaty and i were totally ready to throw it down) weren't bus stop trash! they were more the frat-boy type.
katy the greaty? lmao
i'm so sorry i couldn't reach you during break last week ... i got a cold and an eye infection (?!). anyway, i'll see you so much during summer you'll be sick of me. ...almost.
X3 is coming out in may! it's gonna be a good month. mmm.
Ew. Fratboys... Well I'm glad you guys stood your ground. Maybe it'll somehow shock them into realizing how stupid they really are.
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