precious moments

rummaging under my bed today i found the remains of some beautiful things ben and i made about three years ago (no, not babies, sadly). the ever so persistent trend of shirts with stupid sayings on them drove us to write down some of our own. the list was two pages long and still has the juice stain at the top from when a juice box exploded in my "BP", so the following is a partial list of what could be salvaged. jeff was somewhat involved but as one would expect, his contributions don't really stand out so i won't bother sharing those with you.

cheep abortions
(insert hand-drawn picture of a wire coat hanger)
931 - 1151 this happens to be the number for parkland elementary, or so ben claims

can you tell I'm wearing a tampon?

I'm the only person who UNDERSTANDS eminem

Jesus is Black
God is Irish
Satan is French

thanks to febreeze, i've worn this shirt for 2 weeks straight without washing it! can you tell?

i hate doug kooy

justin timberlake is soooo hot I know from experience dude alright lik me an him got it on whooee we made sweet sweet collect calls all nightlong p.s. can you spare me a quarter i'm aware of the spelling errors, but i left them in out of respect for the artist

this shirt is pretty good for a spray-on




okay, so maybe they weren't that great.