i'm a genius

i'm now taking applications for fake/temporary husbands. what we have to do is get married so i can take all the wedding gifts. so you're gay? even better. my 10th grade acting skills should more than suffice in a convincing performance as your beard. and don't worry, we'll pull a britney before you have enough time to fall in love with me. the benefits will be negotiated. and don't forget the self-addressed stamped envelope, i'm on a fucking fixed income.

katy, i've just saved us thousands of dollars.