the best blogs are born at 2:33am

when i grow up, i don't want to get married and be happy and do all that cliche stuff. i don't want to be one of those people who gets caught saying m. night shyamalanananylam with a credit card commercial twist shit like "looking at my kids makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and like i've really accomplished something." i wake up in a cold sweat when i have those kinds of nightmares. asian fetish kyle from high school once wrote in one of those "things i want to do before i die" lists that he would like to kill the pope. you know i can't compete with that. my equivalent, i think, would be to own one of those trucks with a roller rink inside. with fake wood wallpaper. many an illegitimate child would be conceived in this vehicle of dreams. just thinking about it gives me butterflies in my stomach.

man, i can't believe i thought i'd quit the internet forever.